Between my time in Bangkok and Khao Yai, I had a few days to kill and after spending three days being confounded by Bangkok’s noisy streets, taxi drivers and polluted air I did what many backpackers do and headed south for the beaches. I had originally planned to spend it in Koh Tao, but sometimes time can be your enemy and I would have ended up spending more time voyaging than chilling out. And so it was that I decided to stick to the mainland, one of those spots that is on the banana pancake trail but nobody thinks to stop at. And I’m so glad I did.

If they ever make a sequel to “The Beach“, they should definitely not set it in Prachuap Khiri Khan as nothing would go wrong and that would make a terrible movie!

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Monkeys on the beach

I keep pushing through the water in my kayak, even though it keeps wanting to go to the left, for whatever reason. The island gets closer, but it appears to only be doing so gradually as I keep paddling. Ko Ku Rum is full of cliffs on its top, an impassable ridge covered in dried forest; Khiri Khan is the driest province in Thailand, and even in the rainy season it looks like the Mediterranean in summer. I approach the beach to find that my idyllic island dream may be a bit more of a dream than I had thought. A large wooden boat has dropped anchor on the beach and a few passengers are milling about with small black dots moving around their feet. As I get closer it becomes clear that these are the monkeys I have come to see.

Too many places in Asia have monkey troops that have become aggressive due to tourists feeding and touching them (stop that already!!). So I heed the advice from the resort owners, who have lent me the kayak I used for this short voyage, and keep my paddle with me in case any get too close. I also look over my shoulder regularly, second nature to every guy from Glasgow, in case any try to come from behind. But as it happens, they all keep their distance, and go on strolling down the beach or racing off into the bushes. There are babies around, but touching them is a huge no-no. My resort’s owner told me that a tourist got bit last year after trying to stroke one, and nothing ruins a beach break worse than a spot of rabies.

After taking plenty of photos, I continue down the coast. I stop at a nearby island and check out a small temple there, before venturing down a canal full of colourful boats and bamboo walkways. Returning to the beach after my three hour excursion, which didn’t cost me a penny, I sip a glass bottle of sprite on a long chair for twenty pence then take a swim in the lukewarm waters. There’s no getting used to the temperatures here like there is in Europe, you just jump straight in and think “perfect”!

Coming back to the island for a second, there’s an interesting local legend around it. There was a giant living in a cave nearby who had a daughter, and one night some Indian princes took shelter in this cave. And you can guess what happens next, but after they fall in love, this time the giant doesn’t forbid it. He instead has the worst reaction to a love triangle ever and cuts his daughter in half so that each prince can have a piece of her, not symmetrically but down the side; think about that for a second if you want this story to get darker. Anyway, the front half of her landed in the sea and it became Ko Ku Rum. Then, one of her tits fell off and this became the small, round island beside it. I was told this by a British expat who then went into great detail about how “if you believe these fairy tales, you’re barking mad”.

Suicidal lizards + Fish out of water

Sam Roi Yot beach is next to the national park of the same name, a name which translates to “mountain of 300 peaks”. I borrow one of the resort’s bikes for a day (also free) and take a trip to the local highlights. I stop at Praya Nakhon cave where there is an underground temple, in excellent condition (sorry Lara Croft types), and the trees together with the light streaming in from the hole in the ceiling forms a complete image of serenity. Further on, I came to Sai Cave where one needs a flashlight (I found my phone’s torch to be better than my head torch) and can admire all the rock formations and the bats resting on them. The ride itself passes shrimp farms and shrubland in front of a few of the three hundred peaks, and lizards rest along the roadside. Most run away, but one I come across is suicidal and even after I swerve around him he doesn’t move; had I been admiring the scenery at that moment, he would have been crushed. The final stop on my journey is Khao Daeng canal, where I take a boat trip which reveals some of the area’s waterbirds and mudskippers, fish that can slither about on land.

And that was just a taster. Khao Daeng is just south of the canal and the climb to the top yields a lovely view of the area. For what it’s worth, here’s the view from the top of the hills you climb to reach Praya Nakhon:

Also, the national park’s western side is even better for birdwatchers because of the wetlands and the boardwalk. Even non-birdwatchers will love the scenery of lotuses blooming against the backdrop of the mountain peaks (I’m getting regrettful just typing this!). And further afield, if you want to see wild elephants you should check out Kui Buri National Park where there’s a 99% chance of seeing them the to the park being mostly open savannah.

Undoubtedly the highlight of my days there were the evenings when I would head down to Saloon, the resort’s restaurant, and chow down on seafood or curries, top it off with my childhood ice cream dream and wash it down with some kind of booze – one night coconuts started falling from the trees so I was given one with a shot of Bacardi mixed into the water, perhaps the best cocktail I’ve ever tasted! Also, I spoke to Greg a lot about Thailand and on one night we were joined by some of his expat friends and a couple of backpackers – the coconuts meant we all converged under one covered area, so the vibe was even more merry!

How to do it

To get around the national park’s eastern side can be done by bike, but going out further requires a car. You can hire one in Hua Hin, or rent a taxi with a driver for 1,500 THB per day. If you arrive by train you may need to take a taxi to get to Sam Roi Yot Beach, which will cost 800 THB. You can also get there by minibus for 300 THB.

I was staying at Blue Beach Resort, but don’t let the name put you off; prices here are reasonable and actually roughly the same as a beach bungalow further south. For £14 a night, you get an AC double bed with its own private bathroom, breakfast is included and there’s no fee to use their kayaks and bikes. A two course meal in Saloon should cost less than 500 THB even with some beer, and there are plenty of other places down the street. Bear in mind that this is no hideaway if you visit during the high season; Greg told me he falls asleep immediately during December with the high numbers of tourists and full bookings, if he gets any sleep at all! Visiting from June-September means not only will the place be much quieter, you might also get upgraded for free to a superior bungalow. There’s not much difference, apart from the more modern design and the mini-fridge, but it’s brilliant nonetheless!

Greg and Zai, the resort owners, are truly brilliant hosts, and Greg will keep you informed and entertained with his knowledge of the area and how he lives out here in paradise. They also have a lovely two year old daughter who will beckon you to play football with her or teach you how to wai – fifty times, in fact!